How do I help my husband (26M) with healthy food choices and snacking???
For context I am a stay at home mom (25F) and while I do spend a lot of time sedentary I try to go on a walk every week at least, I do all the housework and chase our baby around all day. It’s hard for me to find ways to move around but I try, even if it’s walking up and down the stairs to go take out the trash/get the mail/etc.
He has a very physically demanding job (package delivery) so he moves around far more than I do. I used to pack his lunches and noticed a lot of the food would go untouched or he would “forget” the lunch. So I had him start packing his own lunch since this was causing a rift. I cook very healthy meals, I use Mealime to plan our menu for the week and it’s usually very veggie friendly since I am weaning our daughter and she eats what we eat. He often has leftovers because he’s “full” or “not hungry” and I catch him eating later in the night or tons of food in the morning.
I try not to keep unhealthy food accessible because if I buy say, some chips, they’ll be gone within a day or two. I buy the “easy lunch” alternatives: bread, ham, tortillas, cheese, etc. However I rarely eat them and he tends to eat them all himself. I caught him eating bologna rolled up with Mayo and some cheese slices and it looked gross but he was just throwing them down for a “snack”. I’m not saying I’m a waif of a woman. I am 251 (as of this morning!!!!) and started at 283 postpartum, I had some issues and before pregnancy my heaviest was 236. He is 240 and I know this is affecting him because when I met him he was 180, and he’s 6’3” so he was very thin.
I recently took him jeans shopping because none of his clothes fit especially the bottoms, and I didn’t want to mention it because it’s a sore topic for him but if he can’t sit in his old jeans and continue breathing that’s as good of a reminder as any that he needs new ones. I didn’t even tell him what sizes I got (38x34) but I could tell he was upset. I’ve noticed a lot of his eating is emotional. His emotions are VERY tied to his eating. When we first moved into our own apartment when we first got married he was extremely grumpy and I figured it was because of the stress of his job (he was in the military) and the move. However I noticed that as soon as I got a chance to go grocery shopping and stocked up all the cupboards and the pantry, his mood immediately lightened.
He comes from a family where food insecurity was never a thing. I come from a family where food insecurity was basically an every day thing. So I know his moods are very dependent on food. He’s asked me recently for help with his weight because he says he needs to lose some weight and he doesn’t know where to begin. So here I am! I don’t like mothering him, I despise being the only “adult” and being the bad guy so I don’t want to tell him what to eat but I do want to know how I can encourage him to try eating different things. He is also quite picky which doesn’t help. I have to trick him into eating veggies and he just recently got a liking for tomatoes something he wouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole before.
If you read this far thank you. If anyone has any advice I would greatly appreciate it. We do have therapists and I will be mentioning it in couples therapy to see if they have any advice as well.
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