i comfortably fit into my old pants!!!
last year i put on 8kg. that pushed me into obesity, barely (BMI was 30.5), but it did. what’s worse is that it was all belly fat, so with a loose top on, i looked fine, so no one believed me, lol. it’s also the worst place to pack fat. i’m 24 with a family history of most chronic diseases, and i wanna stay off meds for as long as i can. i don’t want to be a 33-year-old on statins
i also was in the worst mental state i ever was, the stress of me possibly not graduating on time bec of COVID-19 was taking a toll on me (still v much a thing. dear omicron, your momma’s a bitch), which caused me to stress eat, gain weight, feel bad about myself, put more stress on myself. it was an endless loop of self deprecating behavior that i hope i never go back to.
while i’ve had fluctuating weight before, i’ve never really put on so much that my clothes wouldn’t fit anymore. this time i did. my favorite dress looked horrible on me, barely even buttoned up.
honestly, my goal initially wasn’t to lose weight, i just wanted to be able to deal with my stress in a way that made me not want to combust. because, while i couldn’t really control outside stressors, i could control how i react to them. so i started with walking. for at least 30 minutes a day, just to clear my head. then i added journaling. then taking a nice hot shower when it all felt too much. then slowly started exercising. started with once, then twice, then three, now up to four time a week.
a few months in, i realized how my food really affected me, so i focused on eating whole food. most of the time. i still have ice cream every day (it’s essential). i also started only eating when i’m hungry and stopping when i’m full, it took maybe two months for me to actually understand what my body is telling me (hunger cues are hard). if i’m craving anything, i wait till friday. it’s not a ‘cheat day’, i don’t go all out, but i only eat whatever i want once a week. ‘whatever i want’ usually ends up being one my meals that day and i end eating only half of what i get. i noticed that my cravings are satisfied very quickly, so i just stop eating when i’m full. i don’t have to eat the full portion. i also realized that by the time friday rolls around, most of what i craved during the week i no longer wanted. i’ve also noticed how much my body appreciates a good diet, no midday crashes. my poops are regular, like clockwork, except on saturdays, lol.
it’s been eight months. i feel good. still v much stressed, my body likes to let me know. worst psoriasis flare up of my life, but i feel good. still feels like too much sometimes, but i know what to do. i look forward to exercise, it’s my favorite stress reliever. i now have fitness goals. if all goes well, i’m 16 runs away from running a full 5k. i look good, i’m confident.
i’ve also lost 7kg, i’m no longer obese. my old clothes, not only fit me, but they’re comfortable. my goal now shifted to weight loss. i’m not stopping just yet. i’ve mostly been a lurker on this sub, and reddit in general, but i wanted to post this so i can look back on it when i feel badly about my body and myself in general, because i still have those days. i’m proud of myself. my own head was unbearable a year ago, a toxic environment, and now i can comfortably say that not only do i love myself, i’m damn proud. i’m incredibly flawed as a person, i make mistakes all the time, and i fucking love myself despite all of that. (i say that in the least conceited way, if that’s even possible, lol)
p.s. my new favorite snack is dates and peanut butter. that shit slaps. try it.
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