Being at my lowest adult weight is killing my motivation, help!
I started here at about 221 pounds, my highest weight ever. I felt absolutely terrible, I hated looking at myself in the mirror every morning and felt like a beluga in clothes. My knees hurt, i was starting to get winded when walking to the bus stop, and I couldn't wear cute shoes because they killed my ankles. I was desperately unhappy where I was, and knew I needed to make a change.
Fast forward 5 months -- I've lost 31 pounds, and am now hovering right at 190.0, which makes me a solid size 10-12 and is pretty close to my lowest 'normal' weight since I've been an adult. I'm down 2-3 sizes in pants, and feel comfortable in my clothes again. I look in the mirror and think that I look pretty and I'm back to being able to wear cute heels. I look at myself in pictures and think I look okay.
Unfortunately, it feels like my brain took that as a cue that everything is now hunky-dory and we're in maintenance mode. For the last 6 weeks, I've been consistently at exactly 190.0, every. single. morning. I'd say it's a plateau, but it isn't... it's a 'can't be arsed to make progress'-teau. I have not met my goals, and I'm not at a healthy BMI (although, to be honest, that was never my goal anyway.) but I'd originally wanted to be at 180, and would now like to push that to about 165. I know HOW to do it -- you all have taught me that! (<3) But I'm really struggling with making myself actually do what needs to happen in order to do it. Even the way I talk about weight loss is different -- I "needed" to lose the first 30 pounds, but I "should" or "would like to" lose the last 15-20. I know that lack of urgency is a big part of the problem.
I can't tell if this is partly a psychological issue -- I've always defined myself as curvy, and I've aways been bigger, so maybe I'm pushing back against loosing that identity? Part of it is the fact that the fruit is SO DAMN GOOD here, and I'm struggling to stay away from fresh grapes and nectarines. (Yes, healthy. But if you binge on them the calories (and intestinal distress) still add up). It's also possible that I've cut as much as I sustainably can from my calories in, and need to increase calories out, which is a whoooooole other challenge, and one that's way harder to motivate for.
Anyway. I'm hoping you all have been there and have some advice (or a clue-by-four) for me to help get things back on track. Any advice is welcome, thank ya'll in advance.
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