5'5F, 247 > 130lbs, and I Still Look Like This. Could Use Some Help, Advice, Morale Boost, Anything :\. Fair Warning, The Pics Ain't Pretty.
Edit: Did they change link formatting? Why is my format not working? XD Feel free to tell me what I did wrong, lol.
Edit 2: Switched to "Old Reddit" and got it, haha. So, yeah, edited for formatting!
Using a throw away as I don't feel ready to have this images attached to my actual identity.
These pics are all current. The 2 clothed are yesterday, the rest this morning. Weighed in at 130lbs on the dot this morning.
First and foremost, I sincerely apologize for the bathroom pics and view of a toilet, lol. Best light in my home is the bathroom and of course I wanted privacy. With my SO home and our 14mo daughter and the 4yo I babysit here the bathroom is about the only place I get privacy, haha. I realize a full length mirror would've been ideal for this but gotta work with what I've got. Did my best to give multiple angles and what not. I have some people telling me to stop losing weight. They say I'm looking too thin up top, and they're right. So included pics to show how bony I'm looking from the chest up. Pics in clothing. A comparison of what I let other people see vs what I do my best to hide. And because I hide it no one understands why I'm so frustrated and still trying to lose more weight. But I don't know how much more I CAN lose, safely at least. I know the only way to truly achieve the body I'm working for is surgery. Reaching the weight I used to be, the yoyo-ing over the past 15 years or so, it's destroyed my body. I always gain around my middle first and lose it there last and the losing and gaining over the years has really messed up my body shape. Add to that pregnancy and a c-section and my stomach is a mess. Though there's sagging skin almost everywhere, tbh; butt, thights, arms, sides of my chest region. I can't stand looking at myself without clothes and it's so disheartening. And there's no way I can afford the surgeries it would take to fix this disaster.
I've lost over 115lbs, most days I feel pretty good. I'm the thinnest and fittest I've ever been in my life (I've basically always been overweight, including during adolescence). I'm proud of my progress, I'm more confident than I've ever been before....as long as I have clothes on. And it has to be the right clothes. Because underneath the high waisted pants and compression garment my body is, to me at least, disgusting. It makes me feel like I still look fat, like I still AM fat. It makes me feel limited in the the clothes I can wear (though shopping is a lot easier now, lol). I don't let anyone see my body, even my SO, the father of my child, the person I'm closest with in the world. I always keep a shirt on during, ahem, "personal time" with him, which is fun for him, I'm sure. My BMI's about 21.5, I'm below the average weight of my age/height, I'm at about the 16th percentile of my demographic (according to a couple sites I've looked at, idk where they get their data so no idea how accurate that is). I see pics on here of others who weigh more than me who look soooooo much better! I shouldn't compare but it's hard not to. Why is my body still so ugly after working so hard?! Why do I still have to look like this?!
I just wanted to share what I'm working with because surely others have this problem too, right? I don't want to feel alone in this. I'm tired of people not understanding why I'm still so desperate to drop a few more pounds. And hopefully if there are others dealing with this, maybe they'll feel less alone too seeing my pics. This became longer than I meant for it too, guess I needed to vent a bit. Thanks for taking the time to read :).
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/2Qo1WET
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