They just keep moving the line...
Today I saw myself in a livestream from work and all the good mental and physical work I’ve done over the last year seemed wasted on me. Like I looked terrible. Not thin. Not even average, but obviously overweight. And jowly and just saggy in general.
And I am at my lowest weight since high school at this point. But in those moments I know I am seeing the actual me. Like catching a glimpse of yourself in a window before you realize it is you.
I don’t love this. I reimagined my goal weight today because of it. Initially it was 159 - just enough to squeak in under the normal BMI wire. But clearly I have more than 16 lbs to lose. So I let the internet calculator tell me and it recommends 138. So I have reset. I haven’t weighed that since middle school. Maybe not even then. If I can even reach that, it would be a total loss of around 177 lbs. that seems astronomical. And so far away just as I was getting close to the end.
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