I am in absolute shock with how much I weigh. Biggest I have ever been.
I just need to vent. I hate to go outside. I have gotten so fat. I am 5’6 and weigh 225pounds. I have started doing a workout class 2x a week and I’m eating less. I am so inconsistent and I binge. I live with 2 roommates who surround this place with junk food (we share food). I was 130 2 years ago. After my Mom died I just stopped caring. I just want to be around 150 again. That seems impossible. I don’t want more stretch marks or any loose skin! I’m so young... I wish I had the excuse that a baby did this to me, but no it was all me. I was anorexic and now I’m obese??? What the hell. I’m scared I’ll become compulsive with my eating habits again.
I am starting to feel the physical effects of the weight. I am tired, get heartburn, have stomachaches, back and neck aches. I feel dizzy when I stand up fast, last time I stood up fast and took my BP it was 144/83. My chest hurts when I eat greasy food. I just keep ignoring it because it’s so embarrassing if I really admit this is a problem I’ll just lock myself away. The only reason I am working out is I know it’ll make me feel better mentally. I can’t eat like shit anymore, it hurts my body too much. Last time I worked out I got so physically sick. What do I do about that? I’m in tears.
I just want to break down and get liposuction but I know my money could be used towards better things. I tried keto, I just end up feeling very ill or cheating. I am thinking about ordering prepared food, maybe? Idk. Idk where to start. I guess I’ll start at my next meal.
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from loseit - Lose the Fat http://bit.ly/2va3Ix2
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