I’ve just seen myself on video and I don’t know what’s the real me anymore

Do you know these times when you look in the mirror or take a selfie and you think it’s not all that bad? Of course you can see the weight and you know you need to lose it, but despite everything you feel like you can still look nice, it doesn’t make you look completely repelling. Sometimes I have that feeling, but now I don’t know if it was just my attempt to sugarcoat things and make myself feel better.

I’ve seen myself on video for a student project today, and I’m shocked. I’m shocked about my large body, my huge thighs and how fat my face looks. I’ve never seen it like that in the mirror, and I feel like I don’t even know what’s the real me anymore.

I’m so devastated. I’ve been going to the gym regularly for two or three months now but nothing has changed because I keep losing control over my diet. I do fine during weekdays, but will binge on the weekends.

I wish I could hide myself from the rest of the world right now. I feel completely unlovable the way I look.

submitted by /u/pearly_09
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