How do calories work?

Growing up, I didn't learn about calories, but about carbohydrates, so I don't know how the calorie system works.

I know that if there is a deficit of carbs, you will lose weight fast. I went on the keto diet for a little while and became really weak and irritable, I took a lot of naps and woke up tired, and snapped at all my family members. I bounced right back to being overweight as soon as I went back to eating like "normal". I don't think feeling weak and miserable is worth looking good, especially if it's not healthy in the end!

I've heard about the calorie system, and it seems really beneficial to be able to eat at a limit without this extreme kind of fasting.

1. How does the calorie system work?
2. How do I figure out how much I need?
3. How can I calculate calories if it didn't come from a package?
4. What is the relationship between carbohydrates and calories?

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