Can someone please help me? I am lost and ready to give up. (Tw, s**cide)
Female, 28, 5'3, 245 lbs.
This is my heaviest.
My old heaviest was 200 lbs. And then i lost weight, calorie counting, got down to 160.
And then my boyfriend shot himself and i boozed my way back to the 200 and now, even sober for 1.5 years, I'm at 245. I'm happily married and my life is generally pretty good.
I just...
I feel like i just eat junk all the time and i have no motivation to do any kind of exercise. Every time i think about starting it again, i just immediately feel overwhelmed and feel like I'll fail. Since gaining it all back, i have tried to get back on the diet wagon SO MANY times and it's never a success. I feel like a failure before i even start now.
And now we're quarantined and i can tell I'm gaining weight and... i really don't want to buy bigger clothes again. I don't want to keep walking around thinking poorly of myself, absolutely loathing myself and worrying about what everyone is thinking of me. I really don't want to feel like this anymore.
And I'm just sitting here bawling, desperate, and lost. And i don't know what I'm supposed to do anymore. I don't know even HOW to start, when we have already stocked up on groceries and none of them are notably healthy. We can't afford for me to start a new diet and fail again.
Please, please help me.
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/3abVHtq
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