Update to getting a trainer for the first time in my life: we met, anxiety is (mainly) gone!
First of all thank you to everyone who replied on my post. I have a bad habit of just reading replies and not replying myself but I read all of them and I really appreciate everyone being so understanding with my fears and my disorders. Truly helps me get the idea in my head that people want to help me be better, not make fun of me!
But, I met my trainer today. The workout took the BREATH out of me I felt like I was about to pass out but I did it! The lil walks on the treadmill I'd do are nothing to what I did today!
He's a real nice guy, and every time I felt bad taking a break he'd keep telling me "I'm here to build you, not break you. This is day one!" Even put in the corner of the gym by myself so I wouldn't be 'in view' of other people at my apartment also at the gym!
Still scared because commitment but my body, while tired, feels better in most areas. I thought I would sleep as soon as I got home but I have more energy than when I went into the gym??? Hunger is still a problem but I had a protein shake and that helped curved it a bit!!
I'll still have to see how things pan out for the future but I'm happy so far with how this has gone!! The only change I'd have ever asked for would be i wish I had a female trainer cause my anxiety would've calmed way down from the start LOL but happy nonetheless! Thank you all for the advice, just have to stick to it now!
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