Restarting again after already hitting the goal
Hi All,
My original SW 278 and my GW 220, but I hit 233.
My current stats: SW 263 with a Goal of 220 again.
This is my first time posting but I have been following this reddit for a while. I wanted to share my story as way of holding myself accountable on my journey to lose weight again and not letting my own negative thoughts continue to beat my down about doing this a second time.
So, I had a history of trying to lose weight as I am sure many of you have on here. I ended up being diagnosed with Sleep Apnea about six years ago. I was on the CPAP treatment for about 4 years. The turning point for me sadly wasn’t even the Sleep Apnea because I had resolved myself that I would have Sleep Apnea the rest of my life (at that time). The turning point for me was that a few years ago I was diagnosed with Fatty Liver Disease. I think to me that was the wake up call that not only was I morbid obese, but my health was in a continued decline. Interestingly enough, the toxic thought process I had was that as long as I lost the weight before I am 40 everything would be fine, so I had no sense of urgency. Long story short, the fatty liver was my wake up call. I started doing Intermittent Fasting (16:8) and Walking an hour a day. Those two things got me down to my healthiest weight and cured of not only my fatty liver but my sleep apnea (which I did not expect to reverse). My energy levels returned and it was like a new lease on life.
The reason I needed to write this is that to my greatest shame, I gained the weight back. I experienced what in hindsight seems like something out of badly plotted film, but I am sure many can related. Lost my Job, Had a few close family members pass away and ended up taking care of another family member who was unwell, and of course the horror of the Pandemic, all of this in 2020. Those experiences left mentally defeated and I returned what I knew best, self-medicating with food. I did this for an entire year. I tried to lose here and there during that year, but the unhealthy eating habits persisted. Coming out of that fog, I find my energy to be lower, my clothes don’t fit, and my self-esteem took a death blow.
I came up with this expression when I think of overeating. Overeating is like taking on Loan Out on your future self. You feel good because in that moment you get that short term fix (the loan is paid out), but in the long term it balances out because you have to repay that loan with the consequences of your overeating.
I feel like that is where I am now. I am financially and mentally in a place to begin improving my health again, but I am having to pay back the last year of terrible eating and poor choices in the space of personal loss. I believe I have the tools to do the job as I have done it before, but I need to hold myself accountable and get past the beating myself up mindset.
Anyways, that’s my story. Anyone that has Sleep Apnea and/or Fatty Liver feel free to respond if you have questions.
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