Valuable Life Lessons and What to Expect when you Change/ Decide to change.
I feel like more people could benefit from this reply I wrote toward someone who lost weight and was surprised at how the world treated them differently. I'd retype it as it's own post but I've a doctors appointment to go to.
You're young, so I'm going to give you the real truth about the world. I'm not being mean, mean has zero factor in this. And the sooner you accept this the better your life and mental health will be.
today i was complimented for being pretty while going through the drive through to get coffee — this has never happened to me before. i never had a boyfriend in high school but since I’ve put the weight off, people ask for my number and not just that but people want to be my friend too.
I promise I'm not attacking you (prefix). You weren't pretty in the eyes of the world before, so nobody lied to you and complimented you on being pretty. It's also why you didn't get approached or have a boyfriend. You were overweight and that was seen as unattractive due to shit that is instinctual and subconscious and dictated by society. Now you are becoming attractive and showing up on the radar. It's not that you weren't human before, it's that you were "stealth" and "overlooked". Innately males want a healthy partner, instinctively males want someone who likely be able to bare and raise children in the future. Socially males want the "model" look.
Your old self was a red flag. You're thinking "that's so shallow" and I'll say "it is, get over it. (read the first paragraph again) Women share a lot of the same "shallowness", Almost every living creature on the planet does. Women want a guy who is 6ft. Hell actually MOST OF HUMANITY "wants" a guy over 6ft, 14.5% of all men are six feet or over. Among CEOs of Fortune 500 companies, that number is 58%. What this means is that men over 6ft tall are perceived as "successful" or "likely to succeed" or "capable leaders". And will get more positive attention, opportunities and a greater chance in situations then those who are shorter.
Same with weight for males, a fat guy rarely ever shows up on the radar at all except they make "great friends" right? The sooner you accept how the game is played, the sooner you can make moves to win it, and as I stated at the start, nothing is "fair" or "equal" about life here on earth and there is NOTHING you can do about it. But you can learn to manipulate your situations by boosting the "stats" that increase your chances. For those of us who aren't 6ft and a runway model, this is how we can get the best out of the situation.
These 2 girls who talked shit about me when i was 16 for being “piggy” (this scarred me lmao) now sit by me in my math class and they always compliment my fits.
And for some reason you talk to them. They called you PIGGY and scarred you. Listen, and Imma be real with you, the new you isn't loving the old you by interacting with people who blatantly felt you were a target to be picked at. You deserve better, you always have. While there is nothing wrong, or we can do with, not being seen as "attractive". Every human being, yourself included, even at 220, deserves respect. Please respect yourself more by enforcing that others respect you and giving them clear penalties for not doing so. You are not a doormat, you never were subhuman.
The world isn't fair. It's not equal either. It will never be. The Circle of life is shitty, the circle of society is also shitty and played with shitty rules. But that's just the way it is and there is LITERALLY NOTHING you can do about it.
what hurts the most is the comments that come from my family and the way they treat me differently..
Ah awesome life lesson here, I didn't learn this one until I was 24. A lot of people who stick around you, aren't doing it for you, they are doing it because your presence makes them feel "comfortable". When you decide to change yourself, to improve yourself, You will notice that a lot of that circle will FIGHT VALIANTLY AGAINST IT.
Because they also have imperfections, but they've rationalized their own imperfections and their lack of dedication or discipline to change or improve themselves with thoughts like "Well at least i'm not fat like her" or "I've done the best I can" or "it can't be helped!". But then you show up and you're changing, you're making huge efforts and then one day boom it pays off you're a got damn butterfly. All the other caterpillars who have decided they will only walk the earth because "there's no other way" are hit with your presence.
It is a painful slap in the face they can't ignore, there is DEFINITELY another way, you're flying around right now and they just KNEW you were a caterpillar (or worse, they thought they were better than you and used you as an excuse not to improve themselves). They don't want to change, and they dont want to admit they could change if they put forth the effort, so all their excuses fall sideways by you and your presence, your wings annoy the fuck out of them. "Oh looky here Ms Butterfly think she special with her wings think she better than us!", soon you will hear statements like "I wish it was that easy for me" or other comments to belittle your effort / make it seem impossible for them.
Which brings upon another lesson I'll implant, THEY AWAIT YOUR FAILURE. And their side comments will testify to this, although they will never say it to your face, human nature can be real nasty sometimes. This is called Crabs Theory. They will nicpick the most minor "sins" against your goal that you commit with hopes of being able to say "I told you so". When they eat ice cream, it's hot and it's fine, when you eat ice cream "See, you're not serious about your diet, you took a break in 2 months!". When you don't eat ice cream "I could never limit and punish myself like you are, you're starving yourself and for what? How shallow."
Thats horrible, how do you coup?
Here's probably yet another hard lesson of life. Circles Change. Jesus wasn't accepted in his own town, Butterflies can't stay on the ground with the caterpillar, and birds of a feather flock together. When you decide to improve yourself, you decide you can be "more". You decide you will be "different". You Change. Good friends will accept your change because they accepted you for you, not their idea of you. Others will NOT. You will quickly learn that when you decide to move, people will be left behind. But those who can't appreciate the better you, never deserved you at all. And Although I'm sure the season you spent with them gave you a lot, their inability to appreciate the new you will only be poison the longer you stay around them. AND vise versa. But the good thing is new people will appear in your life who will appreciate you for the person you have become. And that's okay. The sooner you are able to make peace with this the better you will be. I'm so happy you are improving yourself, I hope you never stop. Appreciate the process because it will make apparent who your real friends are.
it’s almost as if i wasn’t human when i was bigger. geez
You are always human and deserve basic human respect. But life isn't fair and people who fit the mold of "desirable" are given a innate privilege by the world that they can't even phantom not having. Just as when you were fatter you had pains and aches and limitations your skinnier friends and family could never relate to. That's just the way it is.
I'm a Black male, 5'6, who up until recently weighed 290. So please understand I can relate and am not attacking you. I'm at 200 now. I can relate better than most and it's like we've unlocked a cheat code to life. Hence my username (Because when we were "undesirable" we were treated like "zeroes" and I made a commitment to be treated better. like the Champion I've always been inside. I can't effect my height, and that's okay, unfortunate, but okay. I can improve myself in many other ways and even if you or I never changed a thing about ourselves. We could still get most of the outcomes of those who were deemed "desirable". For old us it would just take much more effort.
(Disclaimer: There are always OUTERS in these generalizations, however they are generalizations because this is what you can usually bet your money on)
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/3GvruqW
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