Apparently I am having a baby.
Yup, not pregnant. I was walking down the street a few days ago and a kid with learning difficulties stopped and pointed at me and very loudly proclaimed "You are having a big baby". His mother apologised and we laughed but then I realised, I really think she also thought I was pregnant so was apologising that the kid had just blurted it out, not that he had inadvertently pointed out I was fat.
I genuinely laughed it off though as there was no maliciousness in it and the kid clearly had trouble with impulse control (though I do thing the "big" part of the comment was unnecessary lol). Also, I am self aware enough to know that yes, I am fat, and yes, I am holding a lot of that weight on my belly and might look pregnant and the kid was just saying what he assumed was a background fact.
Then it struck me, why am I not mortified? Why did this not crush me? My partner took me aside after we continued walking to make sure I was ok and try to make me feel better but even now, a few days later, I'm not hurt, though he doesn't seem to believe me.
This worries me as it clearly means I have gotten used to it and accepted the Covid Kilos and that is just not good enough. I have gained just over 20kg over lockdown and as I am vertically challenged this is a lot of weight. My clothes don't fit, the jeans that do are dwindling as my thighs keep eating the inner leg, and everything is so much more difficult. Talking on a phone while walking up the stairs? Haha, no thanks, I don't want to sound like I am dying. Washing my back? That little extra bit of fat on my arms and my back (back boobs, anyone?) makes even that more difficult. This unprecedented heat? Difficult for everyone but the sweaty chub rub is real.
I know how to lose wight, I have been successful in the past, though I don't find it easy. The weight gain happens when my life changes and I struggle to adapt my new schedual and living conditions to accomodate healthy routines because I am getting used to all the other changes but clearly I need to prioritise this.
So, new account and time to post on here because everything hurts, apart from my feelings.
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/Vy6kvPO
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