Never gonna be small
Hey all. I don't really know why I want to share this here. I don't know that it will be helpful for anyone, but I sincerely hope that it will.
I started my weight loss journey many years ago now. 6 years ago, to be precise. I weighed 330-335 lbs and I'll tell ya what, life wasn't very swell. I had developed a drinking problem, problems with social anxiety, and I even herniated 2 discs in my spine. After a painful recovery from the disc problems (I don't wish sciatica on my worst enemy), by doctor told me that I had to lose the weight. If I didn't lose weight I was going to be facing some severe consequences later in life. So I started with the most obvious. Quit drinking so much. I axed soda within the first year, and to this day the only carbonated beverages I consume are beer, carbonated water, and the occasional ginger ale.
Fast forward a half year later or so and I quit smoking. While this was a great health decision, it led to me gaining about 10 pounds. My weight loss stalls out yet again. I had started counting calories, but I did it haphazardly and didn't bother to keep careful track of what I was eating. The nagging from my parents continued, and I managed to maintain a ~20 lb level of weight loss.
It wasn't until 2 or 3 years ago that I finally decided to buckle down and seriously focus on counting calories. I wasn't in the right place mentally to start exercising (I started grad school), but I made do and I focused on getting my eating under control. I did it! I managed to lose ~60 lbs to mo original goal weight of 250 lbs!
There was only one problem. I wasn't getting smaller. As it turns out, I have a barrel chest. It makes me look like I'm jacked, but in truth my rib cage is simply pushing my skin out all around me. I hit a major psychological brick wall. All of this effort to trim myself down wasn't going to do anything. After everything I'd done I was still going to be a massive human being. I am still struggling with this. It's very discouraging for me, and I'm trying to find a way past being big boned.
I just started CICO again and I've started lifting as well (first time since I injured my back). The most I can do is try and make this work. If I have the frame of a Norse god I might as well try and fill it out. It's very likely I will never see onederland, but in a way I don't want to. If I can just get to a point where I can be happy with what I've done I think I'll make it. I dunno if anyone else has problems with this, but I just wanted to make this post so I could get my thoughts out there and organized. I hope everyone's weight loss journey is going well.
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