Vent. I feel like I can't do it. (Sorry, long post)
I'm currently 5'5", 195Lbs, female, 29. Goal weight of 130.
A little about me: I was in the military for 4 years, and I've been dealing with PTSD and anxiety as a result of events that occurred throughout my 3 deployments. I am rated at 100%.
Most days I don't even leave the house, so I'll just end up ordering food like burritos/tacos or pizza. I usually eat out at least once a day, if not twice, and it's never anything remotely healthy. This has been ongoing for about four months now.
2 weeks ago, I had a blood draw done for my yearly primary care exam, and for the first time, my "bad fat and cholesterol" were now "just above" normal range. I had a terrible panic attack right after the news was delivered to me. I couldn't stop playing through a million negative health scenarios in my head, due to my neglect for my body.
When I talk about trying to lose weight, everyone starts sending me recipes or giving me suggestions and I feel so completely overwhelmed that I shut down. I have no idea how to eat healthy AND make it taste good. It seems like every time I cook something at home, it just doesn't quite turn out right, and I get discouraged and just end up ordering out.
My dad lost a lot of weight doing low carb and it's all he ever talks about to me when I talk about trying to lose weight. I tried low carb for one month, and I just couldn't do it anymore. I felt terrible all the time, even though I did lose 19 pounds. Yay?
I've always been a really picky eater, and eventually my parents gave in to my pickiness, once I started dropping weight quickly because I didn't want to eat what they were making.
The thing is, as I get older, these foods don't make me feel good after I eat them. I only feel happy and "better" when I'm eating them.
I wanted to reach 150 lbs by my 30th birthday in April, and with that day only 4 months away, it's making me realize that it feels impossible, and even if I put in a lot of work, it's probably not going to happen. I didn't want to start my 30s obese or overweight.
I have no idea how to get started without feeling overwhelmed, but I'm fearful that if I don't change everything starting tomorrow morning, I'm going to drop dead of obesity related issues at any moment.
How do I jump over this hurdle?
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