[Rant] A bittersweet reunion
Over the summer, two very important things happened to me.
First, I hit the highest weight I had ever been. I was 281 pounds. I always thought I was around 250, and seeing that number scared me.
Second, I met a girl. If you asked me to describe my perfect girl, this was her, down to the finest detail. I asked her out, and she turned me down. She used the "I'm not looking for anything right now line", which I have heard many times. Normally this wouldn't have bothered me, but I hadn't met someone like her ever in my life, and it hit me hard.
These two things combined are what started me on my path to losing weight. I vowed that the next time I saw her, things would be different. And I stayed true to that vow. 4 months later, I've dropped 43 pounds and couldn't be happier.
This weekend, I saw her for the first time since the summer.
She was with her boyfriend.
Her boyfriend, my cousin, who I've been close with since we were young. They've been dating for three months.
I had heard rumours, but it hurt to actually see with my own eyes. It hurt to hear my family say they thought she was a catch and how lucky he was. And to be honest, I'm happy for them, because I know they're happy together.
At the same time, I feel cheated. I didn't lose the weight to impress her, or try to win her over. To be honest, I don't know what I expected. But I didn't expect to feel this way.
I know things will turn out alright (believe me; I've said that a million times before), but when I met her, something felt so right and I thought for the first time, thing we're looking up for me.
Regardless, I hit the gym today, and counted my calories. 58 more pounds to go...
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