What Walking Has Taught Me: A Personal Story
I've been battling weight my entire life, my highest weight being January 2018 when I topped the scale at 293lbs. I was always the biggest of my friends even in high school, which made me incredibly self-conscious 24/7. I've always had terrible self esteem from being "the big girl". So I decided to start making changes. I think I've been on some type of fitness journey since college although every time it was extremely short lived.
I always had a reason I couldn't make it to the gym - We moved. I got a new position at work. I was too busy with XYZ. The gym was too far, the membership too costly. I worked out at home for a while until the downstairs neighbors complained about the noise my footsteps caused. (My husband and I were literally shamed in our old building for not wanting to purchase expensive gym memberships and working out at home, but that's a story for another day. That one was a really tough blow to the little self-esteem I had managed to find.) We got married. Family stress. We moved again.
Looking back, all these excuses were my way to avoid being in a place that made me uncomfortable and fearful of judgement. I stressed over not being as active as others, thinking I was "broken" or destined to be this way and there was nothing I could do to fix it. And then we got a dog and everything changed.
I had to be active. I didn't have a choice. Either get out and walk with the pooch or have a land shark destroying things because she's bored. So I walked. And walked. And now I have my husband walking.
Just getting out and moving has changed so much. It's changed my mindset: I don't dread getting up early for a walk. Now I crave it. If I miss a morning walk, I get antsy until I get it in the evening. It may not be gym time, but it's laps around the person I was, and that's good enough for me for now. It's changed the way I relax: after a stressful day at work, I don't sit on the couch and eat a pint of ice cream - I walk to clear my mind. It's changed my relationship with fitness: it's still movement, it's still cardio, it still counts. It's changed my relationship with my husband: instead of coming home and staring at our phones, we walk and talk. Our relationship has grown deeper with each other and (as silly as it sounds) with our dog. It's changed my feelings toward my community: I used to only know my little circle of friends. Now I'm familiar with the other walkers, their pets, their kids they take with them. Instead of living in a random neighborhood, I feel like I'm part of a larger community.
This, coupled with eating generally better and making healthier choices all around led to my Memorial Day surprise. I'm at 279lbs. Sure, it's only 15 or so pounds. But as someone who has been stuck at the same number for years, I'm ecstatic. I'm proud. And I want to keep going.
I guess I say all that to say this: little changes add up. You don't have to go HAM right out the gate. You're allowed to start small. You're allowed to not designate hard gym time as long as you move. You're allowed to listen to yourself and make adjustments as you go.
You do what's best for you. Regardless of how large or small your contribution may be, it's still something.
Edit: Thank you for the gold, kind stranger! It's the first I've ever gotten! :) You made my day!
Edit #2: Thanks, other kind person, for the second gold! This blew up so much I can hardly keep up! You all are too kind.
Edit #3: And silver too?! Thank you, sweet people! Your words have all been so kind!
Edit #4: So I stepped away for a little bit and just logged back in. HOLY CRAP thank you all so incredibly much! Your kind words, badges (Platinum?! What did I do to deserve that!?), motivation, support, and just plain happiness brings so much joy to me. I wasn't intending to inspire anyone or get more than a few upvotes. This is beyond amazing and you all know how to make a person feel valued. Thank you! <3
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