Today is the day!
today i start making a change. i am not happy about making this change. all i feel is anger, fear and self loathing.
I am not asking for your pity or cheap motivation that life will become better if i lose weight. i can't stop eating. i love getting high. these two combined have totally fucked me over. i was diagnosed with clinical depression and bipolar at different times. food is comfort to me - food is the way i deal with everything - when i am working, when i am watching movie, when i am reading/ watching a lecture, i am eating or thinking about eating. i have addictive personality and for me, the only way to replace one habit is to just replace with something that gives more dopamine rush i guess. i can not think about eating lsmaller portions. i have a need for feeling full. it is disgusting, unhealthy and my self loathing is making everything unbearable. this needs to end.
i am starting today. so far i have incorporated a few steps: - eating boatload of vegetables with no sauce and little salt. just as i type this post, i have devoured 1 kg of cauliflower (baked). i have 1.5kg of spinach defreezing right now. the plan is to keep my belly filled with high volume of vegetable so that i do not crave anything. - stopped buying junk food. only one day a week, i will go ham on any fucking shit i feel like.
please suggest any tip you may have. thank you. i weigh 115 kg, 175 cm, male. lifestyle very sedentary, work/study engineer, working from home. i have lots of injuries/pain in my body that going to gym/pulling heavy weghts is not possible for me unfortunately. i can not even do push-ups.
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