Update on my post from 1 month ago: I feel so much better!
I posted a month ago and I was just so depressed when I wrote that. The comments really helped me though. I decided to look at it as a marathon and just take one day at a time.
I also told myself that I would be completely honest and track every single thing I ate, even if I binged. I deleted Weight Watchers and downloaded the free version of Lose It.
My husband, who was also doing WW with me, deleted his app and started using Lose It too. To our surprise, we found that we liked Lose It much better. The interface was better and it just seemed more comprehensive.
Plus I do like how Lose It tells you how long your streak is. Right now, I have tracked for 24 days! I'm not sure I ever stuck with it this long before. When I started, I had my weight loss plan set to 1 pound per week. After about a week and a half, I decided to bump it up to 1.5 pounds per week. And early this week, I bumped it up to 2 pounds per week. And to my surprise, I've been able to stick with it!
Now I'm not saying that I didn't have some bad days because I did. But they were few and far between and I resolved to do better the next day. I didn't let it wreck my whole week.
I also have stopped canceling on my friend when she would ask me to go walking with her. (To my friend: Sorry for being so flaky!) We go walking once a week for 30 minutes after I get off work. With my office job, that's pretty much the only exercise I get.
But this morning on my way to work, I was thinking about trying out some workout videos this weekend. I'd really like to introduce more exercise into my daily routine so I'm working on that.
I'm also still trying to find a veggie that I like...I think I will buy some cauliflower or broccoli and try roasting it in the oven this weekend. I really, desperately, want to learn to like veggies, I think it will help me so much. Plus eating like a little kid gets super old and embarrassing. There's only so many jokes about chicken fingers that I can take before I snap.
But there have been some small wins! Earlier this week, my husband and I split ONE Tombstone pepperoni pizza for dinner. Before we would each eat one whole pizza. And tonight, I only got THREE tacos from Moe's Southwest Grill. Don't judge me but I used to inhale, I mean eat, six tacos. I fucking LOVE tacos and it'd probably be my last meal if I was ever a prisoner on death row.
And I feel OK! I don't feel hungry. I really feel so much better. Especially this morning when I weighed and the scale showed 329.6! I was 334 when I started. :) My husband has also lost weight too but I'm not sure how much. One thing I'm jealous of though is that his calorie budget is so much higher than mine. He's 6'7 and basically a mountain of a man. But oh well, that's just me being petty.
One thing I am considering is seeing if I'm a candidate for weight loss surgery and also going to see if my insurance would cover it. But in Covid-19 times, obviously, that won't happen for a while IF it happens at all. So my plan, for now, is to just keep doing what I'm doing and do my best to get to a healthy weight.
I want to be one of those women who are obviously pregnant with a cute baby bump. Not a fat pregnant woman where you can't tell if it's even a bump. I think about that a lot. But we talked and we are OK with delaying trying to conceive until I get down to maybe about 250 at minimum. But I'm gonna play it by ear and see how I feel. My ultimate goal weight is 130. My only concern about waiting is that I'm 32 and my husband is 35. But there are plenty of people who have kids in their late 30s, right? So I think we'll be OK.
I just wanted to say thank you to this sub. Your kind words almost made me ugly cry in a good way! I definitely want to be a more active participant in the threads here. Y'all are amazing! :)
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