NSV...? I just stopped myself mid-binge...
F/31/230lbs down from 265 (but up from 219 three weeks ago)
I've been doing well, until a couple months ago. I started gradually tapering in more and more sugar, until in mid-September I started really ramping it up.
I keep kind of hazing out and buying all this sugar without meaning or wanting to. I only go grocery shopping every two weeks. Once I kinda come to and realize what I've done, I tell myself I'll pace myself and stretch the sugar out until the next trip. But then I end up making myself plow though everything within the first week because I don't wanna have to deal with resisting temptation for two weeks.
Anyway, it just happened again. I caught myself just...wolfing these fucking donuts down. Why the fuck do I have these donuts? I don't even fucking like donuts.
And I stopped. I'm eating some salmon and broccoli right now, and when I'm done I'm gonna throw the rest of my junk stash away.
I don't know why I keep doing this to myself. I get so afraid of making progress. I'm so afraid of being under 220 pounds. I don't know why that's the number that triggers me, but every time I get down to it this exact thing happens.
Therapy isn't helping with this.
Anyway. It's progress, I guess.
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