30 Day Accountability Challenge - Day 11
Hey lovely losers,
Forgive my lapse in posts yesterday. It was a weird day. That being said, I’m restructuring my goals a bit. I’ve been the victim of my own slippery slope bull shit. Some of my bad habits have crept back into how I approach food & my body. I’ve been aware of it this entire time, but my mental health is finally in a place where I feel more ready to address all this madness. Lifestyle creep has got to stop around food, so I’m simplifying.
Weigh in daily, enter in Libra & remove moral judgement/stigma/shame directed at yourself about it: Couldn't do it this morning. I am more than just this number.
2000 calories, after 7 days in a row, reduce to 1800: When I was more successful at a deficit this meant less gummies, no fast food at all, no Starbucks during the week & not having sweets in the house. And pre logging everything, not just surveying the damage in MFP after bad choices occurred. I'm ready to get back to that. I've proven sometimes I need to just say no because my moderation muscle is weak.
Exercise 5 days a week: 30 minute lunch walk. 8/11 days.
Alone time to word vomit into journal: Necessary. Avoiding this means I’m more likely to eat my feelings.
Gratitude list: Today I’m grateful for Brene Brown. I’m working through all her books & while some of it is not new information, having some of the verbiage around shame & vulnerability shifted, explained, pointed to, studies/anecdotal evidence, is really helpful. I’ve been drawn to books that point at our shared humanity & celebrate it instead of using it as a tool to demean or belittle or encourage the idea that we aren’t enough.
I’m going to bore you for a moment with a note about shame & guilt. Shame is a non-effectual emotion for me (and most people). If shame worked, I would be at goal weight already. Guilt can be useful. Brene Brown talks about this, please go read her stuff & listen to her Ted talk. Guilt says I shouldn’t have eaten the cake that doesn’t help me build to my end goals. Next time I will make better choices. Shame says I shouldn’t have eaten the cake, I’m a useless person & I should just eat more cake because that’s what a useless person does.
I’m going to direct this at myself first because I need to hear it. I’m not a bad human being for eating too much. I’m guilty of overindulging but that doesn’t mean I’m morally deficit or otherwise less. Y’all are lovely people on the internet trying to work towards a better you. That’s beautiful. Don’t ever let shame keep you from trying.
Your turn kids!
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