Upset at myself for letting it get this far...
I’ve been having stomach issues for a couple of years. I’ve had two hernia repairs, been diagnosed with gastroparesis (food takes a long time to digest) and lately I’ve had pretty bad pain after eating that has been traced to gallbladder and fatty liver. Why do I keep eating even when it actually physically hurts me to do it?
I went in for consult for gallbladder surgery and the doctor did a good job of scaring the crap out of me. Which he should... so many risks posed by my obesity and health. Part of me wonders if I would really even need surgery if I would just get my weight under control. I feel like I did this to myself.
I’ve always been heavy. About 8 years ago I lost 110 lbs over the course of 18 months. Then I fell down some stairs and broke a rib which kept me out of the gym for long enough to get out of my rhythm. Since then I’ve slowly put on weight and after the past year with pandemic stress eating I’m 30 lbs heavier than I’ve ever been.
The surgeon scared me enough to pick up my old routine. I know I can lose the weight if I’m motivated because I’ve done it before. It’s only been a few days but I’ve been behaving. This time, though I know what it’s gonna take and kind of dreading it.
If you made it this far thanks for reading my rambling. If anyone understands me you guys will.
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