I'm failing again and i can't seem to stop.
Title says it all. I'm (26M) gaining weight back and i can't stop. I lost 100lbs between 2019 and 2020. I kept it ALL off between 2020 and 2021. unfortunately, in July of this year, i had a pretty gnarly knee surgery, and had a second ACL reconstruction, and meniscus repair. my biggest fear was gaining the weight back. i did fine at first, but if i'm honest, i think the only reason I did "okay" was because I lost my entire quad and most of my muscle mass at the same rate I packed on fat so the scale did not change. my recovery is going well, and weirdly enough, i was able to stay active/fit more right after surgery than i've been able to lately. so far, since late September, i've gained 17lbs, and i'm HORRIBLY upset about it. it's devastating my mental health, which in turn makes me gain more. If i keep gaining this weight back, i will not be able to live with myself. my quality of life was nonexistent at 340lbs and losing weight was basically my last resort before more drastic and permanent action.
there are a few things not exactly making correcting these mistakes easier. for one, i was able to keep the weight off due to activity. i am ALWAYS hungry, and i could eat and work off the excess for maintenance. but too much activity hurts my knee, it's too cold to go outside, and with work lately i've had little time to go to the gym. i work all fucking day, make a relatively healthy dinner, work more til 9-12, and then can't sleep til 1-3. even when i count every calorie, and am at what MFP calls a calorie defecit for someone who doesn't move, the scale doesn't budge. if i slip up because of that, i gain 2-3lbs which never go away. 2 weeks at a strict calorie deficit (weighed my foods religiously. i lost 100lbs, i know how to count) and the scale doesn't budge. then later one Saturday of not counting at a friends for D&D and the scale goes up 3lbs and never drops back down. it makes me want to just give up.
my girlfriend moved in in Spring, and she is pretty sedentary. that's not an issue, i love her, but with all of my work, it's hard enough to find time to go and be active and still spend time with her. it was easier with the sun out and it being warm enough to do things. we like biking, and going for walks, and even a bit of hiking, but then with my surgery robbing me of any summer fitness and my goals, and it being too dark/cold to cycle outdoors, it's hard to find ways to be active and also spend any quality time with her. she recently got a gym membership (100% on her own accord, no pressure from me) but she needs to be shown the ropes, so when we go together, my workouts are not strenuous at all, and it's hard to even get her to go because she hates it. this is hard for me, because we schedule times, she backs out, and then i back out with her. i'm already so tired and burnt out, my motivation to go is already so low, and i'm so discouraged that i just can't stop this slide.
the food holidays incoming will certainly not help. i mean, nothing is helping, it's hard to keep up any sort of willpower.
has anyone else managed to stop a backslide? how did you do it? i feel like i'm spiralling, because failing is killing my motivation to keep fighting the slide.
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