Starting to work out again after ups and downs
I always struggled with my weight. As far as I remember I was always at least chubby or overweight. And I tried a lot of times to change that as I wasn‘t happy with it. And in most cases I failed or gained all the weight again rather soon.
In 2019 I got to a pount where I was under 90 kilos after a long time but soon fell off the rails again, which I soon tried to correct again and then corona hit, which made virtually everyone heavier than before as there just was less of a reason to move than before. And the only place I was comfortable to work out, the gym, was closed. And even if it opened again it was very likely to close again. All in all, everything seemed to be in the way of creating a healthy habit again.
The last months I was at the lowest point in my life and lowkey suicidal, which was partly due to me not being able to handle my weight gain, but mostly to other personal issues. I‘m mentally better of now, so I also started to work out again even though it was very scary to do. At first I felt really great. Just because I felt better in my body. Just because walking was a ton easier, even if I couldn‘t handle much so far in a workout session.
That high is now over in a way. I guess because I already settled with the new normal, so it isn‘t as exciting. But I guess that‘s where the real work begins, as losing weigh is much more about long time discipline than the getting sweaty in the gym once in a while. That‘s doable. Keeping to that for a year or even more to see the results one wants. That‘s the hard part. And I‘m somewhat afraid of getting to a point where I give in again and have to start all over again. Let‘s hope it doesn‘t come to it again.
And good luck to everybody out there in a similar situation.
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