[29F] Losing the weight & losing my health
SW: 69kg, CW: 53.75kg, GW: 50kg 5'0 with a BMR of 1175-1200 max.
I started my journey beginning of April. Triggered because my sister made me weigh myself and announce my weight to the entire family, the heaviest I've ever been with a lifetime of being overweight and chubby. I felt so frustrated and angry and just wanted to be thinner than everyone in that room. Blinded, I aimed for the lowest possible amount of calories. 800 calories a day.
Maintained that and lost weight quite rapidly. Started with HIIT but hit a plateau and switched to walking (aiming for fat burn) for 40 minutes 5 days a week. Did 10 minutes of weights and increased to 20 minutes later combined with the walking, as well as 10 minutes of exercises for constipation because with not enough food comes not enough poo.
Was losing around 700g a week or so, just like that. Slowly started realizing it isn't sustainable, but still blind I only increased to 900 kcal. I take multivitamins, collagen, biotin, probiotics, etc. In hopes that I wouldn't hurt myself. But eventually the weight loss slowed down.
Got covid in July and suddenly, 3.5 months of not enough food, a lot of stress and a body that was fighting an infection I started losing a lot of hair. I started feeling fatigued and depressed every day. Hit another plateau. What did I do? Start focusing on macros, I must need more protein... Bring on the protein bars and shakes. Still 900 calories. But started walking during my lunch break for 30 minutes instead of sitting down and eating. Started standing up at my desk all day in hopes that I would burn more and more.
In the past 3 weeks I've had 3 blood tests done for my thyroid, vitamin levels and iron deficiency. My cortisol levels are high and white blood cells are low. My hair is falling and I'm depressed. I lost 15kg and lost myself.
I want to fix it so bad but I'm severely overwhelmed and not sure where to start... I know it's all my fault... And I am ashamed for putting myself through hell. I want to be proud of the progress I've made but at what cost?
I want some help and guidance on what to do. How fast to do it and how to know that I'm on the right track. Any advice would be appreciated.
TL;DR: 5'0 petite 29F eating 800-900 calories and exercising 5 days a week - want to have a healthier routine that won't cause me to lose more of myself and my health.
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