Having a rough time…
TW: Binge eating disorder
Just found out I have bed and I can’t stop crying lmfao. My whole life I just assumed I had a food addiction and that’s why I was powerless to stop myself. And while this is kind of in the same vein now it just feels like….wow. On one hand, I’m happy to know this bc it just makes so much more sense than what I thought previously, and perhaps I can try and find tailored help rather than just telling a clinician, idk what’s wrong with me, I jsut eat a shit ton of food and expecting them to do something…
But now also, I’m confused bc idk if I feel more hopeful or less hopeful aboht ever losing weight. I was 400 lbs at one point and got down to 300 but then Covid absolutely wrecked me and now I’m slowly nearing 350, I have panic attacks aboht it nearly every night and STILL can’t find the focus I had to lose all that weight before.
A little while ago I tried again to start counting calories and thought maybe I’d be able to stick to it but I noticed I was going over by 1000 like 2 to 3 times a week and naturally, I stopped feeling the urge to count anymore.
I’m so distraught bc I KNOW what I need to do to lose the weight I just CANT physically or mentally do it.
I’m just ranting honestly bc I’m very upset with myself and this entire situation and need some kind of outlet to let it out I guess
Also: I hope this doesn’t upset anyone and if I need to edit this in anyway, just let me know.
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/MECZIF4
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