I lost a lot of weight, held it off for 2+ years, and gained it back (...plus some)
this venting is inspired by the top post on showerthoughts right now
story time: I was always a chubby kid, and in high school and college I weighed about 220 (5'10 male). I just loved eating. in early 2013 I tried giving up sodas and I tried subway for the first time, and thus began my exploration into dieting. I was always semi-active physically, but my weight loss was primarily driven by diet. in about a year I reached 160 and I hovered there for a long time. It was very fucking hard but it was something I was focused on and proud of. I was pretty happy at 160, but the next summer I tried to get to 149.9 just to see if I could do it (I could) and I reached my max weight loss of -70 lbs! like a week after that I contracted reactive arthritis, a disease that eliminated any chance of physical activity and made me limp for two months. I got super depressed. I didn't gain a ton of weight during that downtime, but it just tumbled out of controlled the following months, years, and up to now. The thing is, I never stopped loving to eat (healthy food, junk food, everything in between). Even when I was losing weight, my cheat days were unscheduled and I just devoured tons of calories. I can just eat a lot, and I have a desire to do so. Back then I could suppress it, but now I don't even try.
So I'm at 230 now. Finding it really hard to find my Day 1, even though I know exactly what it feels like to be a healthier weight. I know what the whole process feels like, the little victories like a decrease in pant/shirt size, or bones/muscles appearing that you hadnt seen before. I know how to lose the weight. I know how to count calories, and the amounts of calories in foods are not a surprise anymore. I have a closet full of old (expensive) cool clothes that I would love to wear. but... I don't make any changes to get there. my mind just doesnt want to.
if you read it, thanks! not sure what my question is, but I just really felt the urge to post my story.
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/2zExtvb
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