I’ve lost 14 pounds in the last month!
I’ve always, ALWAYS!... struggled with my weight... My issues have just worsened forever. In high school I was chubby size 14-16 until senior year when my weight shot up all the sudden I ended my senior year weighing about 285-290lbs (I’m a 5’9 woman). I went to college and fell into a pretty severe depression. Never left my bed let alone my room. I gained more weight and was around 305 fluctuating 5 pounds up or down. The first time I saw 300 on the scale was a wake up call! I moved back in with my parents and dropped out of college..... I started seeing a therapist (went a few times and it was amazing but ended up quitting... as I always do when anything becomes difficult). My therapist had kinda helped give me the push I needed to start working out. A planet fitness had just opened and it was perfect for a poor college drop out lol. So I started and it made me feel so much better just the endorphins of moving and feeling strong and I started to really love myself and was starting to achieve some goals which felt amazing! I was fitting into smaller jeans and just in general felt more comfortable in my body. I got down to 265 and I hit a plateau... usually I would of quit but I didn’t I was going for it which made me feel good again. Working out is something I love! I started a new job and a guy there and it was a terrible abusive relationship. He was controlling, belittling, and would rape me anally.... it was awful and this isn’t a post about that but it really affected me and my self worth. So in the 6 months we dated I stopped working out and shot back up to 315-320 (heaviest I had ever been). We broke up and I was so so sad for some crazy self loathing reason.... I dated for a few months and continued to gain weight then I met my current bf when I was about 325. He’s a really great guy and I was so happy when we first started dating and I lost weight without trying. I was down to 306 and we got in a “HUGE” fight (lol) and broke up and I gained a little weight (315ish) then we got back together and I was happy in our relationship but we started having money troubles and I gained weight... (320-328). Then we went through some relationship troubles in December 2017 and we still had the money troubles if not more.... so I started packing on the pounds again... I got up to 346lbs... that is an insane and unreasonable number and I’m really angry at myself for getting to that point. I found an old phone from when I was working out and saw all the pictures of myself when I was so happy and active and I legit cried because I missed myself that way. So for the next month I looked at fitness people on Instagram and wished I was able to be that and then something clicked on 6/2 when I weighed my self at 348 and started making small changes and now a month-ish later I’ve lost 14lbs and I’m so motivated. I’ve realized my negative self talk and making excuses for my self is the root of almost all my problems... I am so ready to not fail! I have never shared my story of struggle and I’ve especially never told my weight to anyone... I want to live past 40 and I want to set good examples of a healthy life (nutrition, fitness, mental health, social awareness , fiscal responsibility) for my future children.
TLDR; I lost 14lbs in the past month and I am not quitting this time!
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