The little choices do count!
I just got back from an 18 day long road trip to two family reunions. I had been freaking out about this trip the whole time it was coming up, I knew it was going to be hard to track calories, hard to find healthier options, and hard to say no to treats under pressure. So I bought some healthier snacks to have in the car, but then we actually got on the road, and my family still wants to head to a drive-thru, and well, it was all too easy to give in to a cheeseburger and fries. Or we'd go somewhere with a signature local food, and well, of course I've got to try it, right? What's the point of travel if you don't get to experience new things? And family reunions, don't get me started... I come from a long line of fat people, and they bring plenty of food. How are you supposed to say no to your sweet relatives who worked so hard to bring things to the gathering? So I gave in. Like a house of cards my resolve fell apart, and with every meal where I'd cave I'd hate myself just a little bit more.
Well, somewhere along the way we stopped in at a science museum. It had all kinds of interactive exhibits, and it was actually really fun, but one of the exhibits it had was a scale. Compare yourself to these different local animals! Well, I hadn't stepped on a scale since I'd left, and I was curious, so on I got. 12 pounds heavier! The trip was only halfway through and I'd gained twelve pounds? I was so upset. I knew that I'd just eaten, and that I had my heavy shoes on, but I was still sure that much of that number really was weight gain. But the trip carried on, and I was still caving in at every opportunity it felt like. I felt awful. How could it be so easy for me to revert back to all these bad habits? If one family trip could set me back so far what was even the point in trying? Sooner or later I'd give up completely again, right?
Well, this morning I was finally back to my own scale. Wore the same light shorts and t-shirt I always wear on the scale, and adjusted the slide weights with dread (Yes I have an old-fashioned mechanical physicians scale in my house it's a long story). Well, I threw the little counterweight all the way to the right, expecting at least a ten pound gain over the trip, and it was too much. So I pushed the little weight back a bit, still too much. Back more, that had to be a mistake right? Finally I got it balanced, I stepped off and on again, looked for anything that could be messing up the reading... nothing. So as of this morning I am 186.2lbs. When I left 18 days ago, I was 184.
2.2 Pounds. 2.2 pounds is NOTHING. Barely just a tiny blip on my progress graph. Never have I been so happy to gain two pounds. Because for the past three weeks, I've only been focusing on my mistakes, and not on all the times I didn't cave. Sure, I ate cheeseburgers and fries... but I got kids meals. I didn't have a single soda all trip. A year ago I'd probably have bought candy and soda at every gas stop along the way. And sure, I tried every single dish at the family potlucks, but only a bite of each to taste, and I otherwise snacked from the veggie tray instead of the dessert table.
So to anyone else out there who feels guilty every time they give in to old habits, the little choices do count. The small substitutions still help, and even if I had come back weighing twenty pounds more, I'd know I could lose it again.
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