Is it worth it trying to date before losing weight?
I'm 5'6 and 210 pounds. Last year, I started to taking a couple medications that made it hard for me to feel full or satisfied after eating. I started to struggle with binge eating, and ended up gaining 60 pounds. I was losing weight before this, so it felt like all of my efforts were a waste. My doctor at the time just told me "oh, it's normal, everyone's weight fluctuates". I don't feel like myself. I've lost over fifteen pounds since December, but it's taking so long because I'm still trying to get over my issues with binging, and trying to learn to eat like a normal person. I don't feel like myself at all. I look in the mirror and feel repulsed. I'm not how I remember myself. I used to be just ten or fifteen pounds overweight and now I'm obese, and I feel huge. I carry my weight well, but I have big legs and hips.
I've never had a boyfriend and that is making me super insecure. I feel like a lesser human being because guys don't pay attention to me. I would also like to have some sort of companionship in my life.
I really want a boyfriend, but I'm scared. I'm scared to talk to guys and have them make fun of me, because of my weight. Guys in high school have constantly tormented me and bullied me (not about my weight, but it's still hurtful), and I've was bullied all through my years in primary school about my weight. That definitely adds to my fears. Also, people online and in real life are so harsh to fat people, especially fat women. It breaks my heart to hear people say such mean things about others. It seems like making fun of people is wrong, unless you're making fun of fat people then it's okay. These things really scare me about even talking to guys. What if I try to talk to guys and then they say something really rude to my face or talk rudely about me to their friends? The guys that do approach me say super mean things to my face after I tell them I'm not interested, and act like I owe them something or that I should be grateful that they would ever even talk to a fat girl like me. So I feel like any normal guy would say the same things, especially if I approach them first.
I'm starting university in the fall. I'm really excited to get away from high school, since I have been bullied and made fun of my entire time here. I know there will be a bunch of clubs to join. I really want to make friends since I don't have any now, and start dating. But I'm shy and find it hard to talk to people. Plus, I have terrible anxiety of what people will think of my appearance and weight if I do talk to them. I feel like if I do approach a guy, it'll just be a waste of my time since most guys probably don't like fat girls. But I want a boyfriend so bad. I want to experience being in a relationship. I feel like if I don't do anything I'll be single until I'm in my thirties. Plus, it's embarrassing to be 18 (19 when I go to college) and a virgin and never kissed.
Should I just wait until I get thinner to talk to guys? Or should I try talking to them when I go to university? Hopefully, I'll be under 200 by then.
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from loseit - Lose the Fat http://bit.ly/2IptFBr
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