I cried a lot today
I started my "journey" about a month ago and have actively been doing CICO for about 2.5 weeks. I've not been talking to anyone about it, just because I'm worried I'll fail and I don't want a whole bunch of people to know about it. I've been overweight/obese for as long as I can remember and I always tried to promote body positivity but I was never really satisfied or happy with myself.
Anyways, today I went to the gym for the first time. Probably in like seven years. I was straight up terrified, I've already got pretty bad anxiety but doing new things alone or anything even slightly out of my comfort zone sends me into a spiral. I sat in my car and just cried and cried before going in (in fact, the only reason I went in at all was because I'm already paying for the membership and I had an appointment with a personal trainer and missing appointments I've set gives me as much if not more anxiety.) It was so scary! But I went. And you know what? I actually enjoyed myself. (I know, I'm shocked too.) Once I got in there it was much less scary and the personal trainer was really nice and walked me through everything. I cried again on the way home because I felt so good and I wish I hadn't been so scared before.
I also had a doctor's appointment today that I had been nervous about. I haven't weighed myself since I started CICO because I don't have a scale and I'm worried I'm not in a good place emotionally to be able to weigh myself everyday. I was terrified that I would get in their and see my weight and I wouldn't have made any progress and that would just discourage me and I would give up, like I have so many times before. But guess what? I lost eight pounds! That brings my total to about fifteen pounds lost in a bit over a month. I cried again when I saw the scale.
TLDR; I'm a crier and I've now lost a total of ~15 pounds.
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