Overwhelmed and Trying to Motivate Myself

Since the pandemic started I’ve gained 70 pounds and have basically stopped any form of exercise (F26 6’0, CW 275, GW 200?). I was already overweight to begin with, but since gaining the pandemic weight I can’t stand to look at myself.

Part of it is the weight, and part of it is I’ve become absolutely riddled with stretch marks. They’re on my stomach, thighs, hips, breasts, and even on the back of my calves. I hate looking at them because it feels like I’ve ruined myself, and even if I’m able to lose the weight I’ll still have them to remind me of what an idiot I was and how I wrecked my body. Logically I know they’ll fade over time, but I’m pale and they’re so red and angry that I can’t help but think they’ll look like that forever. It makes me think that since I’m already “ruined” what’s the point of trying to better myself by losing weight.

I’ve been trying to tell myself that I need to do it for health reasons. Then I’ll look at myself in the mirror or while I’m getting dressed and I feel hopeless about being able to change and disgusted with my actions.

I know it’s vain, but I’m still struggling with it. I want to have the motivation to lose weight without hating myself so much for putting myself in this situation to begin with. Do you have any tips/advice?

submitted by /u/Norma_Des-kin
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